“Being both soft and strong is a combination very few have mastered.”
This first month was sort of a whirlwind. I wouldn’t be honest if I said it was as peaceful as my postpartum time with Indra. I did attempt “sitting moon” for a month but found it much more difficult. For one, I had a toddler who needed me. I wanted to give her my love and attention. And two, I kind of felt cooped up and stir crazy this time. Besides a couple very short outings I mostly stuck with the rules of rest and nourishment.
Indra surprised me with how much love she immediately had for Aya. When she visited at the hospital she kept kissing her. Like to the point we’re like, um ok, that’s enough. Haha.
Indra was great. She wanted to hold Aya and peek in on her all the time. It was me who was finding it difficult to be away from her so much. Thank god for Dave! He and Ezra took Indra out to playgrounds and for ice cream and to stores – they kept that kid busy! They also watched like hours upon hours of soccer bc of the World Cup. We joked that Ezra had a master plan to get me pregnant so paternity leave would coincide with the World Cup.
Ez took three weeks off and I was grateful for each and every day. Besides the normal postpartum stuff the kids were both having some strange health things. Aya was not gaining back her birth weight or pooping. We were anxious and weighed her constantly. She was a little sleepy and we were trying to figure out if she just wasn’t being a good nurser or if my milk wasn’t coming in, or if Indra was getting too milk. I was nursing Aya, then pumping, and then letting Indra have what was left. It was exhausting and became too much. So we started supplementing Aya with an extra feeding for a few weeks just to make sure, and the doctor gave her a suppository to make sure things were working properly. Luckily that got thing flowing in the right direction. But we were still super conscious about making sure she was eating enough. I was feeling pretty bad. I felt like I had just forgotten how long it took for a newborn to eat. I still don’t know what the issue was but things started to get easier.
Before we left Iowa Indra got a tick on her. It looked like a deer tick so we tested her and the test was a bit inconclusive. We weren’t advised to give antibiotics but because we were going to the doctor constantly we asked the main doctor at the clinic and he advised we do the antibiotics. For peace of mind, because she was so young, and because of what we went through with Laurie. So we put her on six weeks of antibiotics! For someone who avoids antibiotics like the plague this was disheartening, but we agreed – the lesser of two evils. A few days before Indra’s birthday she broke out into a big rash. Back to the doctor (at this point it was starting to feel like our home away from home) we discovered she was reacting to the amoxicillin. Luckily it died down and we kept her on the treatment. Months later we retested her and nothing had changed but were advised that she probably didn’t have Lyme. I hated this whole process!
But back to that first month. It was not all peaceful and I was a little racked with guilt over the not gaining weight, not pooping, wanting to be there for both my girls sort of thing, but… we are a family of four! And how lucky am I?!
Poop finally. Sorry, tmi!