December | 2016 | cultivating joy

“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.” -Naeem Callaway

Indra is three months old now and so much has changed. I’m feeling more secure in this new role. I’m making mom friends and joined an ECFE class. Because we don’t know how to keep things simple, Ez took a job in Alexandria, which means a two hour commute back-and-forth every week. Indra has a hard time in the car, so for the two of us, this was a three to four hour drive. After all, it takes some time to stop and shed tears together! There were weeks we were unable to go to Alexandria, so with some trepidation, I stayed home alone with a three-month old. Despite these obstacles we are hoping for the best, grateful that Ezra had this opportunity, and know we were working towards our future. Living in a one bedroom and taking this job was for a purpose. We were working towards our dream, and that dream was now even more important with a baby.

Birth Class friends

Not a fan of tummy time, but more enjoyable at ECFE.
Fall photos at Nana and Papa’s.
This little chick’s first time trick-or-treating! In just this one month Indra changed so much. She became so observant and aware. She’d watch me eat pineapple is complete fascination, or watch feathers above her swaying, or notice Diesel walking by. She began to hold on to things. She likes to stand and started to put her hands on my face. When I’d say “kiss” she opens her mouth. She’s wants to be more mobile, trying to roll over and scoot out of her chair. She did finally complete a roll from back to front! She does the boat pose which everyone finds hilarious. It’s her pilates move. She has a crazy strong core and will lift both legs up and slap them down, like a whale tale. She is starting to grasp at her toys and holds rattles and found her thumb. She makes this “kheeee” sound. She slept in a crib for the first time! She started a sleep regression. She got sick for the first time – just a low-grade fever but enough to freak me out. She does a little fishy move with her arms. She holds onto me when she nurses and makes a “hmmmm mmmm mmm” sound. She likes to scratch at the mesh in her bassinet and loves the Regalo label on the toddler rail. She notices everything!

Buds

But the best change is seeing more and more of her personality coming out. We’re starting to see who she really is. She is the happiest baby. Everyone, and I mean everyone, comments on it – strangers, relatives, friends, everyone. When someone smiles she smiles back, its just an automatic reaction. Her eyes light up and a smile flashes across her face. Even when she’s tired she will (almost) always reward you with a sweet smile. Even Diesel is drawn to her. A grumpy old cat that seeks her out. As soon as we lay her down, he runs across the room and plops down next to her. He loves to nuzzle her with his head or place his paw on her.
A collage of friendship!

First time volunteering at ARC! Dancing and doing affirmations in the mirror.
Four months – how did that happen! Thanksgiving – BonEash style. As her mom, I want to remember everything. But since I have a bad memory I need pictures. I even want to remember her sad and tired faces.

I always thought it sounded so cliché, but seriously where has the time gone? Every moment feels like such a gift, I try to focus on how lucky I am to have this precious time, not on how fleeting it is. Its like a mandala, these beautiful little moments that I can’t hang on to. They’re impermanent. Being a mother makes me in the moment like I’ve never been before.Just snapshots of our days.
Hanging out at Target. No crying and just chilling in the cart to her white noise.

Its official, Indra is a snuggler. She never wants to be put down. Carry her, wear her, lay down with her, its all fine. We traded the bassinet for the crib, but she still sleeps with us. I worried for awhile about doing everything all wrong. Then I read something that resonated with me – babies were happier when worn and slept with their parents. I decided right then and there that I would just go with my intuition and take her lead. My goal as a mother is for Indra to trust me. So much development is happening in her brain these first three years, I want those happy neurological pathways to be formed and reinforced! If my tiny baby wants touch and reassurance, well then I am happy to give it to her. No more second guessing and questioning. It seems to make us all happy. In our ECFE class Ezra and I said our favorite moment is when Indra wakes up and looks between the two of us and just smiles. We’re a little unit of love and happiness.

Hanging out by the lake in Alexandria. Trying to soak in some sun and good spirits.
Hey look, I have a thumb!A sunny fall weekend with Grandma and Grandpa. Time to buy a crib! Officially outgrown the bassinet she never sleep in. We don’t want to say goodbye.

Baby cage!

First time voting – We’re With Her! One of our favorite pastimes is simplifying and minimizing. During this pursuit we found some technology from the past. Sambusa Sunday with the Somalian community. Showing our support!I don’t like tummy time, but I can’t help but smile anyway!